From A Daddy’s Perspective:
Cloth or Plastic, Sir?
Justin “The J Man” Holton
The changing of diapers is
something that most parents share a strong dislike for. Paraphrasing St. Augustine’s “Love the sinner
- hate the sin” - we love the child and hate the poop. So it only seems right that the quickest way
to dispose of the refuse is the plastic receptacles that in a few years will
have every parent doing the potty dance in jubilation.
For the first few months of
my son’s life, I always answered plastic with excitement (especially since
plastic meant free – entrance into our baby shower was a pack of those poop
holders!). But then, my wife brought me
the idea of cloth diapering….
WHOA! STOP! HOLD THE PHONE!
Horrific ideas started
entering my psyche like:
“You want to wash poop
filled diapers with my clothes? I can
see it now – ‘Hello Fellas at Work…these aren’t decorative designs on my jeans
I paid $100 bucks for – no, they are refuse stains out of my kid’s butt!”
OR
“Cloth diapering – doesn’t
that mean it’s just a glorified burp rag with safety pins? I can see the drips
of blood from my fingers on your pristine white changing pad now…”
OR
“What is everyone else
going to think? Maybe we’re weirdos!?”
Yeah, that’s it “weirdos!”
– like the Bald Eagle from the Muppets used to say…
That’s where I was mentally
with this suggestion - which brought me to the immediate conclusion of
“No!” After a little explanation from my
wife, I started warming to it after I realized no poop will be swirling with my
jeans, and I won’t be donating blood against my will…but I still leaned toward
plastic.
Then, my fellow fathers,
she pulled out the big guns that bring down any man anywhere. How much will it
COST????
Easily a box of diapers can
run $30 - $40 WITH COUPONS from your favorite store of choice. Okay…now we’re talking…she hits me with an
initial investment of around $300 with a $20 - $40 freshening up “the
collection” every once in a while. Interpretation: Every time my wife sees an
adorable cover she can’t resist!
So do some math with me and
for easy numbers we’ll say the child doesn’t potty train until age 3 (God
forbid!). Most experts will say that
diapering a child over a year will cost between $1,000 to $1,500. We are up to $1500 a year times 3 = roughly
$4500 or more for the duration of your child’s diaper wearing career.
Cloth diapering is $300 per
kid with maybe $100 a year for “refreshing the collection”. So per child I’ve basically saved you the
part time income you would need to buy the diapers and supplies. PLUS, ladies and gentlemen, you can resell
the diapers after Johnny or Susie literally runs out of them toward the
potty.
And let’s talk about nature
for a minute…if you get two of each the price goes down by reusing them. But like almost any father our there, if we
get a combo I’m okay with another $400 – don’t want my Little Princess in
Superman covers or my Boy Adventure donning Pretty in Pink either!
Did I just see light bulbs
pop up over Daddy heads everywhere? Yep
- I think my fellow fathers are starting to see the light. See, ladies, you just have to put it on our
level. No poopy jeans, most covers use
Velcro instead of pins, and your kid gets themed underwear way before they wear
the real thing. Throw in the money and
we’re caught! Hook, line, and sinker!
I’m so hooked now I was at
the grocery store the other day and the bag boy looked at me and asked “Paper
or plastic, sir?” I answered back,
“Cloth.” This was received by a puzzled
look from the bag boy, but in the back of my mind it made me chuckle. Yep, I’m a cloth diapering daddy and proud of
it!
haha i love that last part... paper or plastic?
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ReplyDeleteI absolutely support your idea. Cloth is not only much cheaper, it is healthier for a child and environment. ANd it doesn't make much trouble washing it witht he help of a washing machine, does it? I still use plastic though when we are leaving home (sometimes I take my baby with me to the best writing service reviews office). Not much fun carrying poop in your bag everywhere:)
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